The Carpet-Bombers

They leave a Tweet every 5 minutes, on behalf of hours on end.   Doesn’t matter if anyone answers them or not..they’ll do it anyway.  You wonder if these people have day-jobs.
The Pimpers

“Hey, check out my new blog as well as http.tinyurl/lookitme.com.“
  ( Most of us are guilty of this one, occasionally..including yours truly).
The Hucksters
“Hey, check out my friend’s blog at http.tinurl/buy-my-shit.com.  Buy their product, so you can be cool, just like me.”
(Makes you wonder if they work on commission…?)
The Cool Kids
Unfortunately, the Cool Kids from Blogo-Land have established a beachhead in TwitterLand, as well as are here to stay.  …Whatever.
The Free-Lance Martyrs

We can tweet about what we ate on behalf of breakfast, as well as we’ll call it wasting time.  The Martyrs shall spend 3 hours a day doing the same, as well as they’ll call it “Work”.  (Even though it never generates any revenue as well as never gains them any new clients.)
The Peeper 

Kind of like the carpet-bomber, only with less tweets.   Just wants to be noticed.   “Hello.  Anybody there?  Anybody?…”
The Troglodyte

Pick a time.  Any time.  Log on randomly.  6:00 AM.  Midnight.   They’ll BE  THERE.  (My God, don’t these folks ever sleep?)
The Addicts

“OMG…Sorry, I had to leave on behalf of a few minutes, to drop off my Mom at Emerg.  She had a heart attack.  But I”m back now.  Did I miss anything? Huh?  What did  I miss?”
The Bartletts

As in Bartlett’’s Quotations.   That’s all these bozos do:  cite one famous quote at the end of another.    Only they never answer back, or initiate any discussion.  It’s  just a one-way conversation.   (Wow…how ORIGINAL.)
The Oracles

Same as the Bartletts.   Only instead of providing just quotes, they’ll also tell you what songs they’re listening to, or what blogs they’re reading, or what color socks they’re wearing.   And of course, they won’t talk back to anybody, either.   It’s a monologue:  they just desire you to shut up as well as LISTEN.
Talk about an ego trip.
The Yes-Men

Like Remoras on sharks,  they’ll latch onto the Oracles,  hanging on every single word they say, like it’s the Sermon of the Mount or something.
The Collectors

They’ll have thousands of followers.  I can’t conceive how anyone can follow such a converation, but they apparently do.  It probably helps to be a Troglodyte.
The Self-Perpetuating Twits

They’ll refer you to such interesting sites, such as “Maximizing your Twitter Efficiency to Increase your Blog Traffic In orer to Optimize your Twitter Followers”.
Yawn.   Dude.  You require to get a new hobby.
The Lap-Toppers

Seems to be an ample supply of lucky winners who’ve received lap-tops, as well as now desire to tell me how I can do the same.   And according to the avatars, these people at all times seem to be gorgeous babes.
But that’s just pure coincidence, right?
….Right?
The Heretics

Those who openly dare to manufacture fun of Twitter. (Very few as well as far between.)
I wish there were more.
Posted in Friar's Grab Bag